Please Note:  Click Here if you do not laugh at any of these jokes.

May

Subject:  Why Men Wear Earrings

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. He knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say,
"So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

Subject:  The Burial

Nine year old Timmy was in the garden, filling in a hole, when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was up to, the neighbor politely asked, “What are you up to, there, Timmy?

 Tearfully, without looking up, Timmy replied, “My goldfish died and I’ve just buried him.”

The neighbor was concerned.

“That’s a big hole for a goldfish, don’t you think?” he asked.

Timmy patted down the last heap of earth, then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your god damn cat”.

Subject:  What to Name the Babies

Ole's sister is pregnant and is in a bad car accident, which causes
her to fall into a deep coma.  After nearly six months, she awakens and
sees that she is no longer pregnant.  Frantically, she asks the doctor
about her baby.

The doctor replies, " Ma'am, you had twins - a boy and a girl.  The
babies are fine. Your brother, Ole, came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh, no! Not Ole; he's an idiot."
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what the girl's name?"

"Denise," the doctor answers.

The new mother thinks, "Wow! That's a beautiful name! I guess I was
wrong about my brother. I really like the name Denise."

Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

"Click Here" for the doctor's reply.

Subject: Irish Gas Station

Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station.  An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is...

"Top o' the mornin to ya".

As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.

"So what are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant.

"They're called tees," replies Tiger.

"And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquires the Irishman.

"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger.

"Aw, Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph!" exclaimes the Irish attendant.  "Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything...

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